Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
