I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
