It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
