I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
