Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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