Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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