I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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