look no pants
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
