You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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