hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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