brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
