I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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