who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
