And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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