How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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