please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
