I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I could fuck to npr.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
