Kiss
Puke
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
