So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
