I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
