Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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