Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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