your parents love me but you hate me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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