all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
