If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
