Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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