If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
someone owes me an orgasm
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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