I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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