I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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