you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
