Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
