he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
