Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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