remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
