I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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