I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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