I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
last night I used snow as a chaser
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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