Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize