Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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