Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
