im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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