sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
