Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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