Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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