you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
