I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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