My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
