i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
