Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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