it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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