Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
