so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
