just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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