is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
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Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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