Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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