I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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