She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
