I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
