things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
