Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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