life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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