yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
