The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
