fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
