Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Holy shit dude........stairs
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
