grandma shit on top of the toilet
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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