You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
