Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
