It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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