I feel like I'm in dance class right now
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
