I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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