everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
